I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
