we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
