Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
