Little spoons don't ask big questions
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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