Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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