Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
