Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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