His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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