whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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