Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
