I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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