If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
