i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize