my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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