Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
