I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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