WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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