I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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