shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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