all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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