He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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