The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ugly people sure do ruin things
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
