I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
