Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
