So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
