Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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