My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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