On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
