Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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