I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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