my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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