I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
