At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
