Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
