I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
