i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
