U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
