What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
