I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
