remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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