your parents love me but you hate me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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