i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
