We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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