Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
