If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
