youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
