Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
