i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
