mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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