Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
