i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
